I woke up yesterday morning really early. And when I say early, I mean really REALLY early. Like 2 a.m. early… and for no reason other than that the stress got to me. By 5 a.m. I figured I might as well get up and tackle the day… and tackle it I did. Breakfast, French and a balanced checkbook all before I’d even entertain the idea of waking up on a normal day.
The only thing that could have actually made it better was if I’d gone on the 6:30 run I considered when I woke up, but I’d been up over 4 hours at that point and figured I’d be better served by an hour nap before work than an hour run. Unfortunately, as my stress levels have risen I’ve foregone running for sleeping. And I’m not sure that’s been the right decision.
Luckily, I had an evening run planned with a coworker, so I knew I wasn’t totally skipping it yesterday.
Truthfully, I’m shocked by how much I enjoy running. Prior to last month, I very openly hated it. I thought (and told anyone who would listen) that running was too boring, too hard, and worst of all, if I wasn’t losing weight, what was the point?
To put it simply, the point is to run.
I began running because I wanted to know what it was like to run 26.2 miles, even though it sounded crazy. (As I typed that sentence, I actually wrote “even though it sounds great.” My how times have changed.) The proud me side of me wants to prove that I am capable of it, both to myself and to others.
Another part of me knows that running is the only thing in my life that I can control right now. That no matter what happens during the day and how fast things feel like they are spinning out of control, I can put on my sneakers and run as hard and as long as I want to. That’s on me.
I set a goal to run 50 miles this month and I don’t know if I’ll hit it, but that’s okay. I’m a slow runner and there’s only so much daylight. I find that I love just being outside with my feet hitting the earth. Some days I struggle to make it to three miles. Others I can drop six no problem. I’m not ready to run a full marathon yet, but I’ll get there eventually. It’s not solely about the destination, but also the journey…
Which I am happily taking with my own two feet.
(amazing photo belongs to rickz)